February: fragments 31 - 39

31
love cannot be found in
a red rose, a carnation
it exists in a word, a gesture
a look, a touch, a memory

as memories flash back
my tears flood & spill
Natasha says, you’re doing the grief
She’s glad I’m doing it now

32
afterwards
there are things to be done
forms to fill in
bills to pay
& emptiness to contend with

33
the music makes y’ do it
it makes y’ kinda mean
it gets into y’ bloodstream
bloodstream

y’ wanna bit ‘ve mm mm
& some lovin too
you hope that this man
will give them things to you

the music makes y’ do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

so ya have a bit of this
& a bit of that
& wonder if you’re better off
at home with the cat

but the music makes y' do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

the love is a buzzin
the early mornings too
you’re playin like a couple
of animals in the zoo

the music makes y' do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

one nite ya come home
he’s fucked off to the wife
ya think about honin
yr skills with a carving knife

the music makes ya do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

ten years in a jail
has no direct appeal
so ya let the man go
with a sigh and a squeal

the music makes ya do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

bein on ya own
aint such a bad thing
no waitin and a wonderin
for that dang phone to ring

the music makes ya do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

but ya need a bit of mm mm
& some lovin too
& the world’s a great place
one gynormous zoo

the music makes y' do it
it makes y' kinda mean
it gets into y' bloodstream
bloodstream

34
water, warm & murky
possibly polluted
caresses my skin
cleaning the sweat
& the blood

35
oh soggy, soggy, soggy
him as well as you
you’re trapped inside this thing
a dysfunctional family zoo
if it’s not your dad painting
it’s your mum cleaning up after you
your wife sneaking in the back door
your child shooting through
you sit in the middle of it all
in a weird kind of daze
not brave enough to step out
or to change your ways

36
my love is always with me
it never goes away
sometimes I forget it
for a moment or a day
you rang me to remind me
my world is not all there is
you have a life, he has a life
and mine is now my own biz

37
to build & to renew
I give myself to you

38
mean diamond summer
essential light wanted
a finger wind symphony
through rusty dream

39
the bed is dismantled
returned to the wife
that symbol of dissention
to our doomed sex life

he’ll sleep now on the couch
or maybe out there with her
that bed has memories of me
don’t forget that sir