January: fragments 7 - 17

7
anger like searing fire
bursts out of me

your response so casual
your pain steeped
in alcohol

let yours out
& mine
can stay where it is

8
small miracle

today my mother died
for a moment or two
no pulse, no blood pressure
no eye movement

then back she came
demanding her nightie
the proper sheets
& paper to wrap up bananas
to leave in a drawer near the bed

9
while listening to Nick Hohepa

Love is everything
but so is hate
anger
injustice

does she believe in love
with uncertainty
& fear ?

hunting in the deep blue sea
he finds peace
in solitude
& work

love is there sometimes
when he returns
when he asks
but sometimes it’s not
anger sets in
& sorrow
& asthma

collectively they use it
to make war
to deny themselves happiness
to confront boredom

boredom is everything
it gives them the reason
to exist
as they please

ethics, parameters, principles
are subdued
not needed
forgotten

the children suffer
become ill
with want
& need

love is everything
it overcomes hate
anger
& injustice

do they believe in it?
can they do it?
will it ever return?

10
this cacophony of sound
has become familiar
coloured red, white & yellow
lights like checker-boards

days pass here
an old person’s dream
interspersed with the cries of children

11
fear sits in my left shoulder
it could become laughter
or anger
there are new things
I wish not to think about
rather enjoy the day
the rain
the air that I breathe
& love heedlessly

12
heedless abandonment
in the sexual act
disregarding the consequences
reaching deep inside
for expurgating release

13
drawing in
redefining boundaries
relearning the limitations

14
each poem
has its own story
uncovers a small stage
difficult to get beyond

15
a performance so effortless
I may have not been in it
but watching from somewhere above
my body doing its work

16
you do not need such a volatile man, she said
do you want him for yourself, I thought

17
women attempt to destroy
the happiness of other women
not knowing in the process
they hurt only themselves